I have three more treatments left and I feel like the closer I get to being done, the more anxious I feel like, oh my gosh what’s gonna happen now, what are the next steps, what will life be like without all of these drugs in my body that I’ve gotten so accustomed to living with. It’s exciting, and a little bit scary. I’m moving on from the treatment and drugs, but I’m moving forward still with the memory of everything that has happened, and the new scars and changes to my body. The scars won’t go away. This is me now, but I am not cancer, and I am not what happened to me. These things that have happened have only made me stronger, even though sometimes I break down and need to lift myself up again. I have the most amazing support team, from my family, to my close friends. Even though sometimes I am not the easiest person to deal with, you all stick by my side and I appreciate you more than you could ever know.
I’ve made new friends this past year called “Breasties,” women who have gone through similar experiences as myself. They understand me and the changes I’m going through and I’m so grateful to have them. I just walked NYFW for Ana Ono intimates, an incredible company created by Dana Donofree. AnaOno is made for women with breast cancer by women with breast cancer. She has made it her mission to design lingerie specifically for those who’ve had breast reconstruction, breast surgery, mastectomy, or are living with other conditions that cause pain or discomfort because she believes that comfort should not be a compromise. Meeting these women has definitely changed my life. They’ve made this transitional period for me much easier.
Anxiety is a new thing for me. I’ve never really felt anxious before, but it’s certainly understandable considering everything that’s happened. To make myself feel better I write-today I wrote this blog. Sometimes I write music, sometimes I workout, and sometimes I just want to lie down with my puppy and watch Netflix (which is what I’m also doing today-currently cuddling with Bella as I write this)
I suppose the point of me expressing how I feel today, besides giving you all a glimpse into the not so bright and cheery Bianca’s mind, is to let you know that yeah sometimes the anxiety does get to me, but that I am okay. I will continue moving forward and I appreciate you and I want to thank you for your love and support ❤️
This is the gofundme my wonderful friend MC created to help pay the medical bills:
This is the link to AnaOno intimates:
This is the link to The Breasties: