It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post.
I started writing multiple times, and I have so many pages of random notes and thoughts that I will probably make into a special piece at some point, but in the meantime I have some thoughts on my mind today.
Two days ago I returned from a month of travel. I was in Florida for a mini girls family vacation to celebrate me being done with treatment, my youngest sister graduating, my middle sisters birthday, and just being together as family.
The week after that, I flew to Oregon to be a part of a special cancer survivor retreat called First Descents. We went white water kayaking and it was such a life changing experience. I met so many incredible people who I am proud to call my life long friends. The week after that I flew to California with my friend, drummer, and musical partner. We spent the week exploring San Fransisco, playing shows in LA, and ultimately meeting really amazing people. We came back two days ago and the day after our return, played our first music festival at the Kensico Dam.
Now, the reason I felt compelled to write this post today. I have been battling a lot of mental obstacles the past year and a half since all of this started. Most of the time I try to hide it and deal with it on my own, in hopes of protecting the people around me, but it’s not always easy and can come out in unexpected ways.
Today is the first day in a long time where I feel a sense of clarity. Clarity in how I want my future, clarity in who I want to surround myself with, clarity in how I want to live my life in peace and happiness. I feel a sense of control coming back to me. Even though I am still battling inner demons, I feel like I am on a path of healing and self discovery.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me, thank you to my family, thank you to the friends who have remained in my life with such patience, thank you to my new friends... I send you all so much love and I appreciate you more than you could ever know.