Tomorrow I am having my second round of chemotherapy. As some of you may already know, last Friday was my first round and you know what? It wasn't that bad.
We arrived at the hospital in style of course. I had a whole entourage- my family and some of my closest friends. My nurse set us up in one of the biggest rooms with a bed. She put the IV in my hand because I don't have a port yet. The whole thing took about 8 hours, it was a long day but I was so happy it had finally arrived.
My first night home after the chemo was the hardest. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and had a lot of trouble falling asleep. Besides that, I've felt pretty good. My stomach feels a little bit irritated sometimes, but besides that I feel normal.
I actually look forward to Fridays. I look forward to my chemo treatments and you wanna know why? Call me crazy, but it's one step forward to being done. After tomorrow i'll only have 10 more treatments left and to me, that number doesn't seem big or scary. Is losing my hair gonna suck? (Sorry again for that word mom) Yes it will, but it will grow back. I am looking forward to being healthy again and if that means a couple of months of not feeling great to have a lifetime of health then I'm okay with that. Some people that I love very much are having trouble understanding my decision. Not everyone agrees with my decision to have chemo. The doctors recommended it strongly and I agreed with them. But some people were very much against it, however, those people don't have to live with the cancer. Those people don't have to live with this genetic mutation I have. Besides cancer, I am a very healthy person. I love working out, eating well, and in general just having a healthy lifestyle. When I was diagnosed with cancer the first time, I did 6 months of alternative medicine and detox. There are some people this time around that only want me to do alternative medicine and healthy eating, detox, and not do the chemo, but to me that's even scarier. With the chemo, I know it'll kill any cells that are leftover and trying to hide in my body. I won't be worrying every day about whether or not I still have cancer. That is why I agreed with my doctors to do chemo, even though not everyone agrees. I have to live in my body. I appreciate everyone's love, support and concerns, but when you hear all the time that you shouldn't have chosen chemo, it starts getting frustrating and stressful. Sometimes all I want is just comforting words and love. Sometimes that's all I need. This is tiring enough without having people disagree with you.
I am looking forward to pushing through the chemo and having a healthy and prosperous life. And I'm actually looking forward to experimenting with different styles once my hair is gone! Not everything is bad. Life is beautiful, you just have to look on the bright side of things. With everything that's happening, I still believe everything happens for a reason.
Thank you always for your love and support <3