I have three more treatments left and I feel like the closer I get to being done, the more anxious I feel like, oh my gosh what’s gonna happen now, what are the next steps, what will life be like without all of these drugs in my body that I’ve gotten so accustomed to living with. It’s exciting, and a little bit scary.
I had my 8th treatment of perjeta and herceptin about two weeks ago and it definitely took a toll on my body and mind. Since I had a couple of weeks off from treatment to recover from surgery, my body has been readjusting.
Honestly, my mind has taken the biggest hit. My skin broke out really badly again since this last treatment. I’ve been struggling a lot, especially the past few days, to stay positive and man it has been a war. There has been a war in my mind and goodness has it been a tough battle.
I’m writing this as I’m in the car on my way to the gym (don’t worry I’m not driving.) I’ve been taking steps to be productive and move forward, and working out is one of the things in life that makes my body and mind feel good. So here I go, continuing to move forward and look for the good in the world.
I feel like it’s so important to be honest with myself and accept my feelings as they are, so I felt like being honest with you.
Thank you always for your love and support
A lot has happened since my last blog post, and I just wasn’t ready to write about it yet. I like to feel inspired, whether it’s writing music, or my blog. The last time I wrote was on November 21st and it was about my anxiety pre-surgery.
I am having my next surgery in a couple of weeks (December 14th) and the anxiety is real. It’s been a while since my last blog post, and that’s because so much has been going on.
Some days it can be so easy to fall into a sadness about everything that’s happening in life. Sometimes I can’t help but think why, why is this happening to me? Why can’t I be normal? Why do I have to go through this twice? Why does my body have to change? Why can’t I have a “normal life?” I let myself wallow there for a while and I allow myself to feel those things. Then I go to sleep, I wake up and I remind myself that I am so blessed to have the life I’ve been given.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. My surgery date was just set for December 14th, but originally it was supposed to be in July.
So it's been a couple of weeks since my last blog post, and that's because I've been busy living life after my last chemo!!!
My hair is still falling out and the side effects are slowlyyyy starting to fade away, but not receiving chemo has been so amazing.
I still have to continue the herceptin and perjeta but that's only once every three weeks, so it's not the worst thing in the world. I had my first treatment after chemo about 2 and a half weeks ago and I have my next one coming up this Friday! Every treatment is one closer to being done!!!
As it turns out, these medications are the ones that make my chest tight and throat itchy (I was really hoping it was the chemo so it would go away) but that's okay. It only happens during treatment.
Some interesting and exciting things have happened since chemo has finished.
First: we recorded the music video!!! It is currently in the editing process and will be released sometime in August! The date will be announced soon!
Another exciting thing that has happened since chemo: we recorded a new single!!! It is also in the editing/mixing process so that's extremely exciting! It shall be released in the next few months! Date soon to be announced on that as well haha!!
Now for some interesting updates:
Last week some guy had the nerve to message me on Instagram and ask "what went wrong on yo chest"
What did I respond? "Cancer." And then I blocked him.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with my chest, I am perfect the way I am. My chest is a trophy of how amazing my body and I are and everything we've been through. My chest looks the way it does because the doctors saved my life and that's what had to be done. But I love my chest and the way it looks, my scars are badass and if anything, his question/comment made me love myself even more!
I also got to open up for Rachel Platten with Heather LaRose! That was an incredible experience and so inspiring. I met a bunch of amazing women before we performed. Some of them were going through some tough times and I was inspired to go home and write a song for them.
Because of this experience and the nonsense with the Instagram guy, and a whole bunch of other reasons, I am putting together an #InstameetNYC! Basically, I am inviting all fighters, survivors, pre-vivors, body positive, kind, all gender human beings to come together in NYC to talk, share experiences, bond and make new friends!
It'll take place on September 9th: Washington Square Park at 2 pm. We'll hang out, talk, grab food, and have a good time! Feel free to come and invite anyone and everyone!
I am so happy to be moving forward in life, and I feel so blessed to have you guys supporting me. You have been so kind, helpful, and loving and I appreciate it more than you know.
Thank you always for your continued love and support
Today I am feeling better than I have been since the last chemo. I finished my last chemotherapy on Friday, and that is such a huge relief. Besides being my last one, it was also my hardest one both mentally and physically. Every chemo has been difficult, but this one definitely takes the cake.
On Tuesday I had my second to last chemotherapy treatment!! To be honest, physically it was one of the worst ones, but I am that much closer to being done! There's still a long road ahead to remission, but being done with chemo will be such a relief for me, my body, and my family. I feel so thankful for the people that surround me.
After the next chemo (the chemo I'm receiving is called taxol) I'll be continuing with a biological and hormonal treatment for the next year. I'll still have to go to the hospital to receive treatment, but instead of going in every week, it'll be every three weeks. So I'll get a little bit of break in between.
I think one of the things I'm most excited about (besides getting my energy back,) is my skin going back to normal. Since I've started chemo, I've been struggling with breakouts and it is honestly so hard to not be self conscious about it. I know something so silly such as breakouts shouldn't matter to me, and I try not to let it bother me but it still does sometimes. I've been trying out different products, so as not to upset my skin even more, and I have finally figured out a good mix of different brands. For those of you that are curious, I've been using Mary Kay night solution, and CV+ calming moisture cream after. I am so looking forward to feeling like myself again.
Now, for a not so great update:
Last week I hung out with my best friends one night, and regretfully ate some junk food (I hardly ever eat junk food-it doesn't feel good and my doctors and family advise against it.) The next day I woke up with the worst stomach ache, and ended up with a 99.9 fever later that day. I think it was a mix of the side effects of chemo, with eating badly for the first time in a long time that made me sick. I didn't move from the couch all day, I felt horrible. The next day was a little bit better, and the day after that as well. My stomach slowly went back to normal and thankfully my fever never went above 99.9 or I would've ended up in the ER! I was afraid that it might delay chemo again, but by the time I went in for treatment, I was back to normal again (thank goodness.)
I would just like to say thank you to everyone who reached out after my last blogpost. I received an overwhelming amount of love and support and some friends even created a gofundme to help with credit card and medical bills. I was moved to tears when I saw that they had been created and then again when I saw that people were actually contributing! I am so incredibly thankful, you guys took so much stress off of my shoulders and I truly appreciate it so much! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I'm sorry for jumping around so much, but I just have a lot to say! I am so excited to announce that I have been chosen to be sponsored by the Carol Gavin Foundation! Every year they choose one woman to support, and this year even though they had already chosen someone, they made the exception of also choosing me. Next week on June 21st, we are having our first full band show which will also serve as a fundraiser for the Carol Gavin Foundation. It will be at Rockwood Music Hall Stage 2 from 7-9. ANDDDD the best part is that I WILL BE HAVING MY FINAL CHEMO TREATMENT TWO DAYS AFTER!!!!!!!!! It's gonna be a blast!! I'M ALMOST DONE!!!! Okay okay sorry for the all caps and jumping around.
Thank you guys again so much for your constant love and support. I love you so much and I am so excited right now while writing this!
These are the two fundraisers that my wonderful friends have created for me:
I love you guys so much
I'm going to be honest with you, I had a pretty rough night last night.
It's been almost a month since my last post. I hadn't realized it until my mom pointed it out recently, but I suppose it's a good thing. It doesn't feel like a month has passed, but it has! On friday, I am going to receive my seventh chemo treatment! I have just passed the halfway mark and I am so happy.
Yesterday I had another surgery. This time around with cancer, it would be my second surgery. Overall, it's my seventh. I had my port inserted for chemo and I must say, it was definitely the worst one. I was awake for it. It only took about an hour but it was pretty terrible. Let me backtrack for a second though. I am about to go into my third round of chemo tomorrow.
Tomorrow I am having my second round of chemotherapy. As some of you may already know, last Friday was my first round and you know what? It wasn't that bad.
We arrived at the hospital in style of course. I had a whole entourage- my family and some of my closest friends. My nurse set us up in one of the biggest rooms with a bed. She put the IV in my hand because I don't have a port yet. The whole thing took about 8 hours, it was a long day but I was so happy it had finally arrived.
My first night home after the chemo was the hardest. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and had a lot of trouble falling asleep. Besides that, I've felt pretty good. My stomach feels a little bit irritated sometimes, but besides that I feel normal.
I actually look forward to Fridays. I look forward to my chemo treatments and you wanna know why? Call me crazy, but it's one step forward to being done. After tomorrow i'll only have 10 more treatments left and to me, that number doesn't seem big or scary. Is losing my hair gonna suck? (Sorry again for that word mom) Yes it will, but it will grow back. I am looking forward to being healthy again and if that means a couple of months of not feeling great to have a lifetime of health then I'm okay with that. Some people that I love very much are having trouble understanding my decision. Not everyone agrees with my decision to have chemo. The doctors recommended it strongly and I agreed with them. But some people were very much against it, however, those people don't have to live with the cancer. Those people don't have to live with this genetic mutation I have. Besides cancer, I am a very healthy person. I love working out, eating well, and in general just having a healthy lifestyle. When I was diagnosed with cancer the first time, I did 6 months of alternative medicine and detox. There are some people this time around that only want me to do alternative medicine and healthy eating, detox, and not do the chemo, but to me that's even scarier. With the chemo, I know it'll kill any cells that are leftover and trying to hide in my body. I won't be worrying every day about whether or not I still have cancer. That is why I agreed with my doctors to do chemo, even though not everyone agrees. I have to live in my body. I appreciate everyone's love, support and concerns, but when you hear all the time that you shouldn't have chosen chemo, it starts getting frustrating and stressful. Sometimes all I want is just comforting words and love. Sometimes that's all I need. This is tiring enough without having people disagree with you.
I am looking forward to pushing through the chemo and having a healthy and prosperous life. And I'm actually looking forward to experimenting with different styles once my hair is gone! Not everything is bad. Life is beautiful, you just have to look on the bright side of things. With everything that's happening, I still believe everything happens for a reason.
Thank you always for your love and support <3
Tonight is the night before another procedure. As I lie here writing, I am reflecting on my past, and looking towards the future. Tomorrow I am going in to have eggs removed and stored so that I may have the possibility of having children in the future. It's a minor procedure, I only have to go under for about an hour or two.
This is my first blog post. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Bianca Muñiz and I am 22 years old. I've never written a blog before, so please no harsh comments. The point of this blog is to share my journey and fight with cancer and life in general. I currently have breast cancer and just had a double mastectomy. Let me start from the beginning.